Broken Marriage? It’s Complicated…

I hear all the fuss, alarm and outrage about same sex marriage, but the more I think about it, the more complicated it becomes, because the issue of same sex marriage did not simply materialize out of thin air. Marriage has been disintegrating in our society for the last forty years, and practically everyone is to blame.

Very few of us have been able to grasp the enormous significance of the invention of the contraceptive pill. Sure, there were means of artificial contraceptives around since ancient times, but suddenly in the 1960s a girl just popped a pill and sex didn’t lead to babies. We call the ensuring social events the sexual revolution, but we have still not realized just how far reaching and revolutionary the results of the pill are.

The pill meant that babies was separated from sex. The public began to regard sex in a different way. It was for enjoyment, then it was only for enjoyment. If that was the case, then anything goes–any sexual pleasure becomes legitimate. If sex was not for babies, then why should it be limited to marriage? If sex was not for babies, why should it be  only between a man and woman? If sex was not for babies, then why should it be a sign of faithfulness between a man and woman? While Christian preachers may have tried to uphold the marriage rules and the old sex rules, a younger generation didn’t see why it mattered.

The old guys used to warn the young guys, “Don’t do the dirty or you’ll get a girl in trouble and you might get the clap.” The young guys replied. “No I won’t. She’s on the pill, and there are antibiotics.” So without any better argument (other than “the Bible says you  shouldn’t”) the old guys learned to shut up and let things be.

We may complain about same sex marriage, but for the last forty years Christians of all traditions have quietly gone with the flow and compromised on just about every “pelvic” issue. Divorce and re-marriage? Catholics and non-Catholics treat it now as a regrettable, but for the most part a perfectly respectable option. Fornication? “That’s what people do. No big deal.” Co-habitation before marriage? Most of the couples who come to me to be married in a Catholic church are living together. Masturbation? “That’s not really a sin. No more than scratching an itch.” Porn? “It’s adult entertainment.” Adultery? “You don’t understand honey! She didn’t mean anything to me. It was only sex.”

Why are all these attitudes commonplace not only in the world, but in the Church? The last comment is most telling: “It didn’t mean anything. It’s only sex.” And that’s the problem. Because of artificial contraception sex doesn’t mean anything. It’s only sex. In other words, it’s only a very enjoyable past time.  The whole thing is adult entertainment.  Read More.