On Second Thought: Episode 12 – First Love, Then Marriage

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now! 

Episode Twelve, Air Date: July 24, 2012

I don’t know where to start on this one.

On second thought, I really wish I’d handled things differently with Gino. I’d had big expectations for a fun trip together, but I think I was too ambitious.  Going that far with a small child was going to be hard enough.  But adding in romantic drama was just a bridge too far.

I didn’t want to continue fighting with Gino in front of Tripp, so I decided to just have him get out.  (Of course, I knew he’d be okay.  Not only is he a capable adult, I also knew there were cameramen from Lifetime who wouldn’t let him die on the side of the road.)

Anyway, I don’t want to write much more about this episode except that dating when you already have a kid is hard.  I think the old school yard chant, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes so-and-so with a baby carriage” has more wisdom in it than we knew as kids.

But that’s not where I am, and life is complicated.  I don’t want to write much more about it.

However, God is in control of my life…  even though sometimes it’s hard to see.

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  • felisha

    If you weren’t wanting to fight with him in front of your son, then you don’t kick someone out of the car and leave them to fend for themselves. That is just immature and a bad example for Tripp. When my husband and I are fighting, and our child is in the car next to us…we don’t kick each other out of the car. We save the conversation for later…like an adult. I’ve lost a lot of respect for you and will not be watching the show anymore. Sooner or later you’re going to have to grow up—stop preaching to the world about their problems and start fixing your own.

    • Zooey

      How does she preach? I see NO preaching from her at all. She’s giving viewers come reality into a highly publicized life. 4 years ago, people wouldn’t let her liveprivately. People were stalking her every move and paying friends to dish. Despite that AND Despite her ex boyfriend talking trash on national tv for cash, she lived privately working a normal job for the first year of Tripp’s life. That’s respectable.

      Why don’t you choose not to judge and assume things you couldn’t know.

      • lizzy

        NO one stopped Bristol from living a private life..seems her brother has been able to do it! Bristol went looking for the public life and sometimes the backlash is that great.

    • MFM

      People live in the moment. Bristol has admitted she’s in constant learning mode, as we all are. This blog obviously shows she recognizes past mistakes. And everything was obviously fine on that trip considering how quickly Tripp forgot about Gino leaving and how happy he looked in later footage.
      People need to learn not to take shit in life and know when they’re being disrespected. Bristol remained calm in the car, despite the egging-on.

      This is one huge reason one shouldn’t judge 2 minutes of a TELEVISION SHOW. You’re a distant audience member who 1. isn’t inside the “Actor’s head”. 2. who are you to judge.

    • Cookie

      But felisha, it’s ok because the Lifetime crew picked him up doncha’know? You are obviously a hater who loves Obama because he gives you food stamps and free abortions. Oh and you are a jealous basement dweller.

      • lizzy

        LOL, you’ve got the talking points down pretty good.

  • Jburgess

    Absolutely love the show Bristol, you say what you feel and stick up for what you believe in. The world needs more people like you. I would love to know if their is any talk of a season 2?

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  • Vickie

    Bristol… I have to say you are one strong women.. And you are right raising a child in highschool and on your own is very hard. But I do have to say you have a guy who LOVES your little TRIPP!!!! You both make a cute couple!! Stay strong!!!

    • lizzy

      You do realize Bristol is 21 going on 22, right..She wasn’t IN high school when she had Tripp.

  • Patsy Carlisle

    So sorry to see the discord between you and Gino. I know we only see a small portion of what actually goes on in your lives. I don’t think from the little bit I’ve seen either of you appear ready for marriage. I do think you care a lot about each other and maybe time will help you both to learn you work thru misunderstandings not walk away from them. You were wrong to put him out of the car. I really am pulling for you, but that was not a mature thing to do. The mature thing, IMO, would have been to just keep your mouth shut in front of Tripp and worked it out in private or wait till you got back home. I’m not taking sides but I do think you were wrong in the way you handled it, but that is why you are not ready for marriage. Still a lot of growing up to do even tho you are a Mom. Love you and your family and wish you the best.

  • Ryan

    Bristol, you are a wonderful person. I, as a male, look up to you. You are a very interesting person and and a fantastic roemodel. I would love to meet you sometime. The world needs more people like you who are strong, independent, and not afraid to state their opinion on things. I am one who would never miss your show! I love it! I DVR it every time so i can re-watch it. I wish you would do a season 2! I will miss watching you! I honestly think that you made the right decisions with Gino were very mature about the whole situation. Please remember for me – you are doing an excellent job raising Tripp and you are definatly NOT the only parent who has had your 3 year use bad language!!! I admire you as a single mom and think you are doing an excellent job Bristol!

  • Jennifer Wallace

    It is nice to have a strong-willed, independent and beautiful woman in the media to serve as a role model for young women on what not to do and do. I enjoy watching your show and am a big fan of your mother.

    I know that it is not possible for the public to know every aspect of yours and Gino’s relationship and rightfully so, but that was definitely not my favorite part of the episode.

    There is no perfect relationship except for the one God has with us. We are human and we make mistakes. There are always going to be disagreements and arguments…its how two people either grow together or grow apart.

    I grew up in a blended family and now I mother one…it’s hard so to find a man that loves Tripp as much as Gino does and it is a great thing. I hope it works out according to what Gods will is for you and Tripp.

    Always watching and hoping for a second season.
    God bless you and yours! :)

  • Linda Dean

    Remember when you were a kid, and played on the teeder-toddle? It takes a partner to balance it, and when you go up and down, you have this trust, that when your way up in the air that the kid at the bottom wont suddenly hop off and let you come crashing down hard to the ground. Rember that feeling? Bristol, you were that kid at the bottom who hopped off and let Gino fall hard to the ground when you put him out to fend for himself. Seriously, you just lost this mans trust, if it were me, I would be scared to ever go anywhere with you for fear of being put out by the roadside just because you didnt have your big girl panties on. Gino might not admit it, but he wont trust you the same way again, and what you did amounted to emotional blackmail. Make me mad, out you go!! Real mature NOT!! Very disappointed in you right now.

  • katie

    I enjoy watching your show. When I was in my early 20′s I was a complete idiot in relationships and I think some of the emotional stuff just comes with the age. Boys are that age are totally immature and so are girls and the whole kicking someone out of the car because they got on your last nerve probably doesn’t happen in front of kids when you’re in your 30′s but it does when you’re in your 20′s. Kicking your boyfriend out of the car to send a message is a very normal thing for a 20 year old to do – don’t be too hard on yourself. I used to throw things across the room – it’s not nice, but it is somewhat normal. If you can, chew a piece of gum or something when you feel like kicking someone out of the car or saying something you’ll regret and wait 30 minutes and the problem will probably resolve itself. Cooped up in a car or house is stressful for any couple but add a toddler and it’s just very difficult – I think it’s called reflexive biting. It seems like Gino really adores you and that kind of adoration doesn’t last forever with men. I used to think the parties and the guys would go on forever, but it does change as we mature so if you can forgive and call each other friends you’ll be in good shape. You can build a life and a history with someone and that’s worth a lot in the end. We’re all numbskulls in relationships early on. If you can don’t criticize your partner and they won’t criticize you. It’s hard, but try it and you’ll notice a difference. Men need lots of encouragement and praise – much more than women. Take care!