On Second Thought: Episode 12 – First Love, Then Marriage

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now! 

Episode Twelve, Air Date: July 24, 2012

I don’t know where to start on this one.

On second thought, I really wish I’d handled things differently with Gino. I’d had big expectations for a fun trip together, but I think I was too ambitious.  Going that far with a small child was going to be hard enough.  But adding in romantic drama was just a bridge too far.

I didn’t want to continue fighting with Gino in front of Tripp, so I decided to just have him get out.  (Of course, I knew he’d be okay.  Not only is he a capable adult, I also knew there were cameramen from Lifetime who wouldn’t let him die on the side of the road.)

Anyway, I don’t want to write much more about this episode except that dating when you already have a kid is hard.  I think the old school yard chant, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes so-and-so with a baby carriage” has more wisdom in it than we knew as kids.

But that’s not where I am, and life is complicated.  I don’t want to write much more about it.

However, God is in control of my life…  even though sometimes it’s hard to see.

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  • mlynn

    Hi Bristol,
    I like your show and enjoy watching it especially your little man Tripp. He is so mature for a 3 year old. Raising kid(s) is a tough job but i give you credit for trying your very best to be a good mom to Tripp. Don’t feel so bad if you have to discipline him, have you heard of the phrase “tough love?”. Be consistent and firm. Kids are smart, they knows how to get to the best of us. Just rely on God for guidance and wisdom. Being a parent (let alone single parent) is a huge responsibility. There are no perfect parents like there are no perfect person in this world. Keep up the good job and God bless you.

  • Ann Pinger

    Bristol I’m sure they had miles of footage to choose from; as usual (thus far) LIFETIME has again put what appears to be your worst side forward. Arguing with your boyfriend is personal and not for public display. I hate to say it but I felt so bad for Gino, he’s not been treated well, in front of all of us. Ditto for Andy. I really wish they’d focused more on positive things, or the specific issues of raising a child on your own… minus the drama of arguments ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF TRIPP! You can’t find a nice yung man in Wasilla with big bucks, and therefore you will probably always feel like a “sugar mamma” to any of them… so learn to trust he’s not just after that, or move on… because this limbo is so unfair to both Gino AND Tripp. Don’t misunderstand me… I am a Bristol supporter for sure… I just hope you don’t give the haters more to talk **** about, and I really do hope and pray you find happiness with the right man.

    • Kelli

      I agree with Ann…we never know what happens behind closed doors but the editing actually brought me to tears for both Andy and Gino. I think the biggest misconception young women have before they go into marriage is that they don’t “need” a man. God made men with egos, they are geared to help us and take care of us. Part of being a woman is being aware of this and orking not to take away what God gave them. Tripp truly thinks of him as his Dad and you let him be in that position so now you need to fix it (because I truly think most relationships can be fixed if BOTH people work at them). But go to a counselor now, learn to communicate, too often we think we have to do it on our own and make our own mistakes instead of getting help from those who have already made the mistakes… Praying that you truly seek God’s wisdom…

  • HW521

    I think you and your sister are snotty little brats! It is sad to hear you repeatedly say that you have so much life experience… leaving in an apartment next to your parents home isn’t much of life experience. You both treat men like crap and belittle those around you. You girls need a wake up call!

  • T

    What we want isn’t always what we get. In life God will give us only as much as we can handle and put in our path what we need to learn.

  • Lk

    Hey Bristol! I DVR all your episodes & I love watching your show. I’m sorry that a lot of people say ugly things about you, but just keep your head up & don’t let them get you down. You are a very strong woman & a really great mother. Tripp will appreciate everything you do for him. I’ve learned how you treat a child when they’re young will stick with them forever, because that’s true for me. I don’t agree with you dropping Gino off, but you are right he had the cameramen to watch over him so he wasn’t in any danger anyways. Plus a lot more goes on that what we see. Don’t settle, find a man that loves & respects you & Tripp. But Gino really loves Tripp & Tripp loves him. But you are a great mother :) I admire you. . I hope you get a chance to read this email. I hope you have a really great day & stay strong!

    In Christ Name,

  • Isabel Barganier

    Hi Bristol!! I’m Isabel and I’m 13. I am absolutely obsessed with your show , I love it SO SO SO MUCH!! :) it’s definitely my favorite show ever!!! I get extremely (maybe a little too) excited for your show every week, it’s AWESOME!!!!!! ;) im sorry you probably think im really weird! I think you are beautiful and you are truly an amazing person! Tripp is so cute by the way! Also, everybody has bad days and you have no reason to be judged! Anyways I love you and you’re show! Thanks so much for everything you do!! :D -Isabel

  • Kayla

    I just want to say that I absolutely love love love the show! And I love your family! I like that you stick up for what is right and for what you believe in and don’t let anyone change your mind. I really like seeing how you put your trust in God and are teaching your son about prayer and faith. You are so inspirational and I just want to say thank you! I hope some day I have a family like yours!

  • http://none Tricia H

    I reaallly hope that Gino is a horrible guy, bc all we really see of him is someone who really wants to be in your life. I don’t know you at all nor will I claim to but I have read your book, and currently watch your show on Lifetime. My heart really breaks for you. I feel like you are letting a life *wait not life, but the idea of a perfect ideal life* w Levi get in the way of something that could be good with someone like Gino. I don’t know him either but the way you treat him on tv as is shows you are really hard on him and you push and push him. If he isn’t a horrible guy, *not all guys are perfect, neither are us women* you should really give him a chance and seriously allow him in your heart. I feel like since you were burned so HARD by such a rat so young you will always be jaded. I pray that isn’t the case. Like I said I do not know you or will I pretend to know the whole story. I am only looking in from the little foggy window. I hope you find happiness and LOVE and most of all a good man with wholesome values to pass on to your son. I wish it was his bio father, but like so many million times and like a sad country song, not all boys can be men. I wish you luck and will watch you soon on DWTS!

  • bss

    Bristol, I’ve been a democrat all my life, and I think you are awesome–so mature and sensible for your age and a great role model for young girls. All the best to you.

  • http://Episode12 Kimberley Page

    I was very disapointed to see that a woman, would stop the car and drop Gino off in the middle of Arizona. This also shows how much more you need to grow up. A mature adult wouldn’t have done that no matter if there were cameras there filming a show or not. Your decision to do that in front of Tripp also shows that your extremely immature. As a parent I can imagine leaving a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend because I can’t handle the situation. You should have found another way to deal with your situation that benefited all, not just yourself.

    Disappointed viewer.