It’s Complicated: Why It Wasn’t as Obvious as It Seems Like It Should Have Been

by JourneyOne thing I struggle with, as I painfully write some of the facts of my QF Patriarchal Marriage, is that the abuse wasn't as obvious as you might think. I'd venture to say that 99.9% of the people we were around had no clue. I always get a kick out of how most patriarchy supporters speak up so quickly about how they are "opposed to abuse." Are they really? Abuse always seems so stark, so obviously abusive, when you *read* about it, but in real life? Generally, not so much. For example, Mark's abusive and strange behaviors are crystal clear, the way I've written the story for NLQ, but in real life, it wasn't as easy as all that. I think that, in real life, it's never like … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: Old-Girl in Young-Girl Disguise

by Sierra“What did you think?” My mother asked, as our blue Chevrolet rolled smoothly out of the parking lot, mingling with more expensive cars on a fresh-paved freeway.“I liked it,” responded seven-year-old I. “I actually listened.”We were talking about our first visit to Anna and Sven’s church, an informal affair that gathered weekly in the upper annex of a suburban YMCA. The church had begun in the pastor’s living room, hosting only two or three families. Over the next few years it had grown to six or seven. The pastor and his wife had six children, the youngest still a newborn. They’d welcomed a new child every two years since their eldest.Church wasn’t a new experience for me. … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: The Elsie Books

This'll be interesting.  While cooped up in the three back rooms with Warren and all six kids during the remodeling project, I picked up one of Angel's books, "Elsie Dinsmore" ~ just skimming through when something caught my attention and led to me reading the entire 8 book set.  (More volumes have since been published.)  I was seriously rolling my eyes the whole way through.  I wrote this review and submitted it to Harvey & Laurie Bluedorn's "Teaching the Trivium" discussion list for classical ed. homeschoolers. The Elsie Books  The main problem I have with the Elsie books is the characters are all so unbelievable!  Even the villains are basically good characters (Arthur Dinsmore was … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Quiverfull and the Life of the Mother

The recent "Born to Breed" episode of "Secret Lives of Women" has attracted quite a bit of attention from practicing Quiverfull women ~ and several QF/P blogs are discussing my story and NLQ.  I appreciate that quite a few of these blog commenters are giving thoughtful consideration to the message here. But many others are insisting that my Quiverfull "conviction" was a burdensome form of legalism rather than a true calling from the Lord.  It is frustrating to read their comments as these women dismiss my Quiverfull experience as irrelevant by concluding that what we were doing in our family was not the same heartfelt, Spirit-led decision based on our sincere love for the Lord and our desir … [Read more...]

"Go to Oregon and build an ark"

by JourneyMark said we were going to move to Oregon.  I didn’t want to move to Oregon (I hated the rain), and I told him so, but that didn’t matter.  He had heard from God.  More specifically, he had heard God tell him to, "Go to Oregon and build an ark."  What that meant, we did not know, but Mark had heard it quite clearly.  I wasn't about to argue with God.  The strange thing was that Mark regularly mocked people who "heard from God" about things.  He felt that spiritual gifts were generally abused, and that God didn't speak as much as people thought He did.  It bothered him how our mildly-charismatic church used spiritual gifts.  He thought it was indecent and uncontrolled, that t … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: What It’s Like To Sing The Blues

 by TapatiGod forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues--EverlastPreviously we had just received word that Mike’s mom had passed away. Mike wanted to go to her funeral but we were broke. We called his dad. It turned out he was nearby and he offered to take us to Chicago in his van. John said he felt bad for not being there while his son was growing up and that this was the least he could do. So we let Mike’s grandma Emma know we were on our way and drove off, all five of us crammed into their aging van, determined to make it to Chicago in three days, just in time for the services.We headed up through Nevada to High … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Does Patriarchy Glorify God?

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer  Q: As a Quiverfull couple, we practice headship and submission to strengthen our marriage and bring glory to God.  But you are saying that Patriarchy hurts the husband and belittles God.  Please explain.What does “glorify” mean when we’re talking about God?  A simple definition can be found in what we commonly mean when we say a person is “seeking glory.”  It means that person wants the credit for good things that have happened, and to be honored for those things.  To glorify God is to seek glory not for ourselves, but for God-- to act in ways that point to God, that give God the credit for good things in our lives and the honor that comes from that. … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Acoss Cultures: From Generation to Generation

by Tapati    Grandpa Glen and Grandma Velma TallmanMy mother sounds like a horrible person as I write about her blocking my efforts to leave home, hitting me, and subsiding into depression and suicide. Of course there remains a stigma associated with mental illness and it’s difficult for most people to find compassion for people who act out when their illness is poorly managed. In the 1970s there weren’t any really good anti-depressants on the market and the ones offered to my mom came with some hefty side effects. Psychotherapy also wasn’t as sophisticated. I wonder how she would have responded to modern therapies but I can never know.Mom didn’t develop her illness in a vacuum. There i … [Read more...]

Rachel Scott ~ the two-headed lady …

Rachel Scott on WETV's "Born to Breed":  Well, my husband is in charge ... and I do believe in women submitting to men ...Rachel Scott on the Joy Behar Show: I believe that my husband and I have an equal partnership. But in matters of dispute, I would say that the two of us make decisions pretty much together as team. So I think submission is misunderstood.BEHAR: So it's not the total patriarchy that it's painted - as in the film piece that I saw.SCOTT: I don't believe that is total accurate depiction of Quiverfull actually, so, no.Discuss this post on the NLQ forums! … [Read more...]

Why Did She Do That?!

Rachel Scott's crazy-making tactics on the Joy Behar Show  Look, Mimi~ I'm on TV!  LOLWhen I first received the phone call asking me to go to New York to be interviewed on the Joy Behar Show ~ I had to admit that I had no idea who Joy Behar is.  "I am still pretty culturally illiterate after all my years as a fundamentalist Quiverfuller," I explained.  "We do have cable TV now, but the kids keep it tuned to the Disney Channel."  So, I can tell you all about Demi Levato, Selena Gomez, the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus ... in fact, I think I've got Hannah Montana's basic hairstyle ... :)Anyway ... I quickly brought myself up to speed on Joy ~ and on Tuesday, Nov. 3 ~ I had the opportunity t … [Read more...]


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