Dave Daubenmire Infected With Sin Cooties and Other Saturday Morn Lunacy

Dave Daubenmire Infected With Sin Cooties and Other Saturday Morn Lunacy February 15, 2020
This is from an advertisement for a bull fight and makes about as much sense as Daubenmire and the rest of these folks.

These are all things making me laugh revolving around the world of Evangelicalism, Quiverfull and life in general. Putting them all in one post.

First up, Dave Daubenmire. We’re only talked about him a handful of times, even as the things rolling out of his mouth many times sound like he’s trolling the world by pretending to be the world’s more insane Christian. Remember recently when Dave was proclaiming that allowing blacks into the royal family is sinful? Then he claims to have been defrauded by JLo and Shakira’s Superbowl performances and started threatening to sue the NFL. He’s  baaack and now he’s claiming that Shakira opened a portal and the sin cooties got him.

Translation: Shakira made him have awkward pants feels.

Dude, take the Duggar approach, yell “NIKE!” and look at your sneakers when beautiful Hispanic women show up in revealing clothing and swivel their hips. Right Wing Watch asked the question that made me laugh over this “Did the Super Bowl Halftime Show Open a Portal and Infect Dave Daubenmire With a Demonic Virus?”

Dang, I know Shakira’s hips don’t lie, but that’s a mighty powerful thing accomplished by hips.

“What if there is a [demonic] spirit that accompanies the visual of the pornography?” Daubenmire asked. “What if that opens up, what do they call it? A portal? A threshold? … What if sitting there, watching that soft pornography dance across our TVs, what if there’s a spiritual component to that? What if there is something that comes out of my screen?”

“What if there’s some waves? What if there is something that comes off of that video?” he continued. “What if there’s something, waves or some force that comes off of that? What do they call that stuff? Dopamine. What if that unleashes something in my brain? What if it’s like really and truly infecting me with a virus? What if it is really like that?”

I do not know what the heck Daubenmire is smoking, but it seems to be the same noxious stuff that Charisma magazine must be inhaling judging by an article on evil squid spirits stalking and infecting folks. Uh, try some “Squid Away”?

My poor irony meter was broken the minute I glimpsed this photo from Jed Duggar’s campaign this morning on the Facebook page “19 Scandals and Counting” Jed and other Republicans took cookies to the hardworking members of the Springdale Police Department to curry electoral favor.

…..and this would be the same police department that his older brother Josh Duggar sued after they released records related to his molestation of his sisters. The sweet, sweet irony of this moment! The Duggars must be the most self-unaware people on the planet.

….and finally someone, a rather clueless male, is posting again how if you just give your husband enough sex there would be no pornography or adultery. Thankfully even Lori Alexander’s more toxic posters pointed out the fallacies in his thoughts.

Figures. Lori Alexander only encourages and promotes men who blame women. Not even close to why men turn to those things.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Desperate Ambrose

    And “what if” you just STFU2, Dave?

  • Mel

    I’m always amazed how technologically backwards some of these male QF stodges are.

    TVs can be turned off.

    There are three – three! – easy ways. If you have a remote, hit the “off” button. If you can’t find the remote, there’s a button on the TV that you can push. Finally, if all else fails, pull the electric plug from the wall.

    Heck, my three-year old will start chanting “Bye bye TV! MOTE! (remote) Mote, where are you? TV off!” when he’s done with watching something.

  • AFo

    Is… Is Dave ok? His comments were some of the most incoherent ranting I’ve ever seen. Maybe the halftime show did scramble his brains. I also have to laugh at how he apparently watched the whole thing instead of changing the channel, turning it off, leaving the room, etc. Gotta see every detail to more accurately condemn it, I guess.

  • johnsoncatman

    The demons immediately possessed him and wouldn’t let him turn it off or go out of the room. Or he watched it because he liked it, and now he has to hate himself for how it made him feel.

  • Friend

    So d0pamine comes out of the TV in waves, finds the brain, opens a door, and virally1 infests a person with demons.

    I’m totally on board with this highly scientific explanation.

    Red alert! This sequence is not limited to live performances, though. It also affects me when I see Hoss in reruns of “Bonanza.” (Sorry, Little Joe, you’re just not substantial enough.)

    /sarc

  • persephone

    Daubenmire has been doing ‘shrooms while watching Supernatural and reruns of Angel. He can’t watch Buffy because her dad isn’t keeping her at home.

  • Ann Nienow Bowen

    Did they ever talk about Buffy’s Dad? I can’t recall ever seeing him in a flashback or anything.

  • Jennifer

    He was in one when she had a flashback of her sister coming home from the hospital.

  • Jennifer

    Republicans are Red, Democrats are Blue
    Please forget Josh, I brought
    cookies for you!

    Honestly I didn’t even know that 1wiener sued them.

  • otrame

    As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, it is clear that poor Dave really liked that show.

  • otrame

    Which was fun, because until that episode, she was an only child. Wedon never had a problem going batshit in furtherance of a good story.

  • persephone

    Yeah, his name was Hank. He showed up in a couple of episodes, I think. One where she dreamed under a spell that he told her she was bad and he never wanted to see her again, and in the 7th season episode where she comes to in a mental hospital. But most of the time he’s offstage, with Buffy going to see him over the summer or on weekends.

  • Kudos to the person from the Gothard Discussion Group who coined the term “sin cooties.” It is so applicable to QF.

    I read this early in the day, and I am sad to say that I watched the video of this Dave and his portal, and I read that Charisma article about the freakin’ squid. My mom sent us gift subscriptions to Charisma for twenty years to get me to come back into the holy roller fold, and for about 15 of those years, they went right into the trash. (I hope my reasons for doing so are obvious, but this might be the all-time weirdest time ever.)

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    You taught me
    “sin cooties” but it really is the most descriptive term

  • My generation called that “Flip Wilson Disease”: The Devil Made Me Do It!!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORH3y3DtYqY

  • I mostly remember Flip’ in drag as Geraldine wherein the Devil always made her do something or other. But this clip was just too cute.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    Only three ways in his case, because Alexa also opens the portal that sprinkles the devil’s tingles over “Coach” Dave’s shorts.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    It’s tragic that Dave never managed to sue everybody in time. $876 trillion could have been a portal blocking amount of cash.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    Dave isn’t the only one on ‘shrooms. What about Jennifer LeClaire, and her squid spirits? Apparently, a bad trip while binge watching Stranger Things has her convinced that Mind Flayers are real.

  • TheBookOfDavid

    I would love to be a fly on the wall when “Coach” Dave actually tries to sue the NFL (&Shakira &JLo &PepsiCo) for $876 trillion, just to see the lawyer try to keep a straight face.

  • 24CaratHooligan

    I wish dopamine did come off the telly in waves. Then my anxious little brain might get enough of the bloody stuff to function correctly. Clearly I’ve been taken over by the squids. i wonder if you get more dopamine from watching Jason Momoa? *writes research proposal for lots of ££

  • 24CaratHooligan

    Last summer a bunch of people were arrested for havin the secks in a very public setting in Cardiff. One lady who complained said (and I’m not joking here) “I had to go back and have another look because I didn’t believe what was happening” Yeah suuuure you did hun.

  • 24CaratHooligan

    Or you can leave the room and do something wholesome 😉

  • DoctorDJ
  • Raging Bee

    “What if there is a [demonic] spirit that accompanies the visual of the pornography2?”

    Whatever happened to “erototoxins?” They’re not talking about those anymore? I guess that was too easily disproven.

  • Raging Bee

    He couldn’t turn off the TV because his hands were full!