March 9, 2019

The last third of the book by pastor Doug Wilson. His attempt at romance titled ‘The Man in the Dark’ We already did the book in three other parts. Part 1, Part 2 and last week’s outing Part 3. The finish line is in sight now. Good thing too.

Last review day I said Doug broke my brain with this silly book, and there’s some truth to that. As someone kindly pointed out I’d blanked on the fact that the main character’s name is actually Savannah, not what I’d been calling her, Samantha. I don’t know what happened so I’m going to blame it on the book.

Chapter 10 – Elizabeth and Savannah

When we last closed Alan Lambeth, town one note Simon Legree was taking Savannah’s rival on a date. That’s where we start, Elizabeth Sarandon is returning from her date, and Savannah is lurking in the parlor to speak to her. Savannah is self aware enough to realize that to talk crap about Alan wouldn’t go over well. Elizabeth realizes that Lambeth has been telling her a pile of false tales about her rival, and so she confronts Savannah, accusing her of thinking she’s too good for Lambeth.

Meow! Someone is spoiling for a cat fight.

Savannah says no, she thinks Elizabeth is too good for Lambeth and it’s on, like Donkey Kong. Savannah walks away and leaves Elizabeth hurling accusations. Savannah wrestles with her conscience all night and goes to apologize to Elizabeth. I’m not sure for what still.

Sheriff Barnes goes to ask Lambeth where he was during Todd Martin’s unfortunate collision with a bullet.

More dating happens, Lambeth asks Elizabeth to pass a message to Savannah about Milwaukee in an attempt to rattle her.

Chapter 11 – Dinner in Paradise

The silly town mayor rushes about making arrangements for what sounds like a town Chamber of Commerce dinner, asking Savannah to be the hostess instead of his wife. Yawn.

The dinner happens and they raffle off a seat next to Savannah. After some machinations by landlord Mrs. Fuller the seat goes to Thomas Goforth. There is minor semi-flirting before the pastor admits he’s after her.

Chapter 12 – The Train That Left

Mrs. Fuller tells Savannah that she cheated and arranged for pastor Goforth to sit next to Savannah at the dinner.

Lambeth shows up at school, trying again with stupid innuendos to rattle Savannah’s nerves.

Goforth goes forth to Alan Lambeth’s office to tell him to stay the heck away from Satan..uhh.. Saman,e eerr. Savannah. Lots of folks warn Elizabeth about Lambert. On their date Lambeth tries to bed Elizabeth, but she promises him tomorrow, after their 4th date as he’s trying to twist her arm to deliver another dumb vague message to Savannah. Elizabeth promises and promptly hops on the last train out of town to get the heck away from Lambeth and avoid murder. It’s taken her that many dates to discover he’s the town evil apparently, but instead of telling him she’s washing her hair every single night she runs away.

All this book needs now is for sweet Polly and a Canadian Mountie to show up.

Chapter 13 – Turmoil in Town

You think? You got Simon Legree out there killing folks and twirling his mustache and there’s bound to be trouble.

A minor character confesses true love to another minor character. The sheriff discovers pages later that same minor character was pacing around in hopeless love during the fire. He says something that implicates Lambeth, but it doesn’t not make sense to me. I give up. I hate this stupid book that makes things happen a couple of times, yet does not explain other happenings,

Barnes goes to the Judge to get an arrest warrant and one of Lambeth’s sneaky little buddies tells him he’s about to be arrested. Alan Lambert skedaddles just ahead of the dumb arm of the law and the search is on.

Here’s where that stupid twist happens.

Chapter 14 – Apocalypse

Savannah goes off into the woods to pray, Thomas Goforth follows her. He immediately proposes, err, marriage that is, not a picnic of sandwiches or a walk in the pines like might be expected between two people who’ve not known each other long. No, she does not clobber him with potato salad.

She says no, because after a dull recitation of a life history that is pretty standard she decided to try her hand at being a sex worker. WHAT?!?!?!? Just out of the blue just because she met a madam.  This prissy pearl-clutching potato salad tosser worked as a prostitute exactly one time. She cannot get over the guilt, how much of an unclean whore she would be in the eyes of everyone else.

I burst out laughing the first time I read the book when I hit Savannah’s confession. I’d already pegged her secret as being that she showed her naked ankle to strange men on the streets of Milwaukee for a nickel, or maybe she’d had an embarrassing love affair with a circus midget and his monkey.  I joke badly. If this had been a standard romance novel her secret would have been a rape followed by childbirth of a little bastard she was boarding back East. Or she would have secretly lost her husband and child in a tragic accident, coming to a small town to hide.

Instead we have her completely out of character revelation that she was curious and horny so decided to try her hand and other parts at the world’s oldest profession. Many people have been curious and randy yet never turned to prostitution to scratch that itch.

Then Thomas Goforth says something even more shocking. He was that only customer, the literal man in the dark that boffed her. He went to ‘sooth his nerves’ and seems to have far lesser guilt about the episode, saying that they must marry to make it right.

Savannah has much, much, MUCH, M-U-C-H more guilt and wailing that the pastor for doing what is essentially the same thing.  He might be more guilty because he was not obligated to do anything.

Goforth says he recognized her right away and had been searching for her for years. He would have proposed sooner but there was that potato salad tossing incident. That’s not me making a dumb joke, he mentioned the potato salad as an off-putting event. Stand back officers, she’s dangerous and armed with potato salad.

Oh holy fudgeballs! I never dreamed Doug was weird enough to come up with that twisted crazy backstory, even if it had both characters behaving completely out of character.

They confess their love and kiss, kiss, kiss.

Chapter 15 – Release

More love talk in the woods, pages of it, until Alan Lambeth comes riding up running from the Sheriff and takes them hostage. They fight, and the posse shows up to bust the cartoonish villainy of Lambeth.

There is more, but I am guessing you know what it will be. Summed up by this passage:

“She had been a whore. She was to be a virgin bride.”

Not how that works, except in romance novels.

And they lived happily ever after. I wonder if Thomas ever threw Savannah’s former occupation in her face during fights?

It’s over, sobbing for joy, thank you Jesus!

Part 1 | Part 2  | Part 3


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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

 

 

 

March 1, 2019

Edited to add: When I said Doug broke my brain I wasn’t far off. Some kind reader pointed out there is no Samantha Westmoreland but a Savannah Westmoreland. Yes, I’ve been calling the main character by the wrong darn name the entire two thirds of the book. Ugh to that name.

Did you know that with only two outings we’re already a third of the way through this romance novel by pastor Doug Wilson? The only tender mercies in this is that it is merciful brief. Let us join hands and pray that Doug writes no more romance novels.

Interestingly enough there are only five reviews on Doug’s Amazon page for the book, mine and four positive reviews lacking much detail. Only two of the other reviews are verified purchases. That alone says a lot about the book.

Just like putting down a suffering pet I’m ending this misery for everyone much quicker. I’m going to do another third of the book instead of two chapters.  I’m sure by now you have an inkling what the big twist is. If not read on.

Chapter 5 – Milwaukee

Todd Martin, traveling salesman, punchline to obscene jokes and aficionado of taverns is pumped several times by mustachio-twirling typical villain Alan Lambeth. Lambeth wants to know about Milwaukee, badgering Todd several times before stealing his hat. Lambeth goes to Doug, errr, Samantha and implies he knows what happened in Milwaukee, but Martin shows up and tells Sam her dirty secret is safe with him.

Chapter 6 – The Night of the Fire

Lambeth decides to take advantage of his hat-thievery and gain Samantha’s attentions by burning down her house?!?!? Well, setting it on fire so that he can rescue her and she’ll rush into his arms. He plans on planting Todd Martin’s hat to imply it was Martin. It does not exactly play out that way.

Damn, if this is romance I want nothing to do with it. I prefer being a cynical old crab.

But because Lambert is a cheapskate that does not do maintenance on his bank as he’s skulking out the bank to ‘discover’ the middle of the night fire he falls through the steps and breaks a leg.

But Sam and her bustle do not burn. Pastor Goforth was up ‘working on a sermon’ and saw the flames. He raises the alarm and the fire is put out before it does more than snuff out a bedridden old lady. Lambeth tells the sheriff that he saw Todd Martin committing skullduggery near the  boarding house. Pastor Goforth agonizes over his own stupid secret.

Chapter 7 – Flirtation in the Kitchen

Samantha flips flapjacks and emits clouds of horniness for the pastor who saved her life right through the kitchen wall and into the dining room. Clearly Doug does not know how to flirt at all. It’s not this. Normally you have to actually be in the same room as the flirtee.

The guys hunt Todd Martin, but he turns up dead, deader than dead in the woods with a bullet hole in his forehead. Whoopsie! Turns out he was playing cards towns away when the boarding house caught fire.

Body count now attributable to Lambeth? Two.

Chapter 8 – Aftermath

Samantha just knows Lambeth is behind the pile of bodies. I guess she’s psychic too. Thankfully she’s shut her damn mouth of all that snippy witticisms. She’s happy her secret is safe, even happier to get a letter from the dead man stating such.

She agonizing over Pastor Goforth finding out what she’s done. She decides to confess to the Pastor but they end up in her snippy snappy words. They stand on either side of the door IN AGONY over their secrets and lust. No actual secrets are confessed. They just dance around it.

Chapter 9 – The Next Step Down

Lambeth twirling his mustache and thinking evil thoughts opens the chapter. This is followed by a recitation of his evil going back almost to the cradle.

He puzzles over Samantha Westmoreland’s rejection of him and the first crazy sermon giving by Pastor Goforth before he decides to date one of Sam’s haters – dept. store clerk Elizabeth Sarandon. Dating and lies happen.

Various towns folk speculate that Lambeth set the fire.

And just like that we’re another third of the way through. Next time we finish up and I promise you will be beyond disgusted by how Wilson rounds this out..

Why do I get the feeling that Doug loves  himself some serialized pulp fiction in a trashy rag?

Part 1 | Part 2


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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

February 24, 2019

And just like that we’re back in the silly unromantic world of Doug Wilson’s romance novel ‘The Man in the Dark’ You can catch last week’s review here at NLQ.

Let me warn you that this gets no better. I’ve read the entire book now and all I can say is that there is a sick twisted twist at the end that Doug thinks is romantic instead of inappropriately bizarre in a almost incestual manner. I need several gallons of tequila to wash that mental image away!

I am sorry I am so over the top sarcastic but Doug broke my brain with this one.

On to the book:

Chapter 3 – The Catch

Here we get introduced to another random admirer of the wonderful Mary Sue-ness of Samantha Westmoreland – Sheriff Barnes. Lawman and convenient vehicle to praise Sammy-girl.

“He just knew that there was a ‘pretty lady’ teaching high school now”

He watches the heroine dealing with some drunken louts before intervening and giving them the bums rush. Barnes discovers that Samantha  had a loaded tiny lady’s gun right behind her purse trained on the horny drunken miscreants.

Samantha becomes bend out of shape because she discovers that Pastor Goforth knows how to carry a tune without a paper bag. This leads her to puzzle and rant that she is one of the only people in town who can sing on key and play an instrument. She rants about trying to start a choir unsuccessfully before the other piano player hosting a hymn sing that is more successful than her .

This is all more griping, complaining and sniping  done by this ‘perfect’ character that seems consumed with petty stupidity. Eventually Pastor Goforth walks her home. Everyone in town assumes she’ll marry him. Still no romance, just nasty snippy answers.

Chapter 4 – Night at the Davenport

Wish I was on my davenport, not reading this book. Why is Idaho’s answer to the Ritz in Paris named an old name for a sofa?

It should be called ‘Busybody Meddling’. Samantha’s landlord, a lady named Mrs. Fuller who serves the purpose of eavesdropping at the right moments and pushing the romance that is not romantic overhears something. It’s Pastor Goforth and potato salad pushing Alan Lambeth arguing over why Goforth will not punish Sam for the potato flinging. Belabored dialogue ahoy!

“He (Lambeth) said something like, ‘It is apparently too much to expect a bachelor pastor to deal appropriately with a beautiful parishioner that he is sweet on. Everyone sees that, you know.”

Here we are again, a do-se-do around the pulpit over Samantha! I know she’s not the only woman in town? Are they going to duel? Compare penises? What?

What does Alan expect the pastor to do? Turn her over his knee and spank her?

“Then Pastor Thomas said, ‘Everyone sees that she is beautiful. I think even you see that.'”

Yeah, yeah, we get it. Purtiest thing in three counties. Note to Doug: Good novels do not write perfect people. Perfect people are boring and don’t really exist. Plus she’s not perfect, perfectly nasty snippy.

On Friday Samantha and Thomas go with the Mayor and a traveling salesman named Todd Martin to some community event to promote the town of Paradise. Seriously, is this the best of the citizenry that that Mayor could scare up? Doug is a little vague about the event, it makes no real sense, but it takes place at a super swanky hotel towns away called the Davenport.

All the men start chasing Samantha. She dances with the pastor. He saves her from a crashing bore.

Todd Martin is sure he’s seen her in Milwaukee, but cannot be sure since when he’s not working he hangs out in bars and brothels. Not the same joints as high school teachers. Sadly Doug missed the opportunity to make tacky jokes about traveling salesmen and farmers daughters.

Sam falls asleep with her head on Goforth’s shoulder and not a tiny bit of romance

Anddddd we’re done. Next week Alan Lambeth figures out there is something suspiciously hinky about Samantha and a possible sighting in Milwaukee.

Part One


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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jcoelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

February 17, 2019

My bedroom nightstand, my view as I read this book. I need a bottle of tequila on the nightstand.

It has arrived! My copy of Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog’s misguided attempt to enter the romance novel market. Currently I am reading “The Man in the Dark” by Wilson, and it’s kind of a laugh riot. But not in a way that I think the author would approve.

First, let me state I am not a fan of romance novels. I’ve read them in the past when it was the only book I could obtain. Like the time I was sick at my high school boyfriend’s grandmother’s house and all she had was a pile of old Harlequin Romance novels written by Dame Barbara Cartland. It helped pass a few boring days.

I am a voracious reader, but not of this genre. Usually I read a mix from the serious to the silly. Recent books included Chris Christie’s “Let Me Finish,” “Nine Perfect Strangers” by Liane Moriarty and “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. See what I mean? I enjoyed all three. I am simply too prosaic to like romance novels. When you’re asthmatic you end up laying down and reading a great deal.

This? I’m four chapters in and it seems like a vanity project for Wilson. I’m not going to waste more than a small amount of print on chapter one because you can read it for yourselves for free online.

Too bad it’s not this “The Man in the Dark” or this one.

Chapter 1 – Samantha Westmoreland

Chapter one – Doug’s Mary Sue character is named Samantha Westmoreland, a romance novel name if there ever was one. I guess I should be happy it’s not Sadie Mae Gluckmann or something worse. This chapter is filled with Samantha swanning about, judging others in her orbit and exhibiting that Mary Sue like perfection that everyone around her either wants to have lovely horizontal fellowship with or is insanely jealous of.

We’re introduced to the two love interests, the wealthy and foul mouthed banker  Alan Lambeth, and the laughably named new pastor Thomas Goforth. Goforth?!?! Are you kidding me?

Wilson spends a copious amount of time in the first chapter establishing the location as Paradise, Idaho, going on and on and on about the glories of the area without once giving a time frame. Seeing the prissy pearl clutching of his female lead and mentions of automobiles just starting to be a thing I have to believe this is pre-Prohibition, like the late 1910s perhaps.

Chapter 2 – The Potato Salad Incident

All the players are established in chapter one. Then we move on to chapter two, ‘The Potato Salad Incident’ which is literally the best description of the only worthwhile action in the entire chapter. Samantha beans Mr. Lambeth in the head with a bowl of potato salad in front of Pastor Goforth (that name!). At a church picnic before snapping rudely at the pastor. Why? For Lambeth being rude enough to constantly push his grandmother’s potato salad on Samantha after she’s explained that potato salad gives her a rash near her elbow on her forearms. Hostile potato salad offering rewarded rudely. Only Wilson could turn an act of altruism into a declaration of war.

Has to be one of the dumbest descriptions of a food allergy I’ve ever heard of. But considering Doug has stated many times on his blog that he thinks food allergies aren’t real, gluten free is ridiculous and other inanities I am not surprised at all. Clearly no one in his circle has food allergies.  That presentation is just bizarre and not very realistic.

I have pretty severe food allergies and sometimes I do attend church picnics, like Doug describes in the book. I am feisty but I can honestly state I have never tossed potato salad at anyone or chewed the pastor out when someone tries to push food I am allergic to. I do like everyone else allergic does. You bring what you know you can eat and share it with anyone who wants it. You do not behave like a toddler that needs a nap!

Pastor Goforth and Mr. Alan Lambeth circle each other like horny dogs around the only female in heat, making everything uncomfortable for many.

Samantha dutifully trots off to the pastor’s home the next day to explain her potato salad throwing ways, her relationship with the naughty word spewing Lambeth and Lambeth talking smack about the sermonizing mad skillz of the pastor.

The chapter ends with the pastor confessing his burgeoning feelings for Samantha to a friend. Yawn.

Conclusions

I know Doug never meant for his book to be an indictment of all that is wrong with the church, but it is. We have gossip, we have lust. We have feeling smug and superior to everyone else. We have judgmentalism. We have tattling to the pastor about the actions and words of others. We have potato salad. Just kidding, potato salad is awesome!

I am likely not going to quote much from this book because the writing is actually rather flat and boring. Not at all Doug Wilson’s usual over the top word salad. It’s sedate and a mere 250 pages.

Doug’s writing of his main character Samantha Westmoreland makes it seems as if Doug has no real knowledge of the inner workings of women. She’s one dimensional, not much different than Verhoeven’s Nomi in “Showgirls”, one of the worst films ever.

Next week chapters 3 and likely 4. Our heroine is fully armed to keep off the random drunken rapists in the town so swayed  by her wonderfulness they try to bother her.

At some point I am going to be doing a live reading and tequila drinking during the squishy parts like I did for Vaughn Ohlman’s tome ‘What are you Doing?’ First I must prepare my liver and my computer. Date to be announced. Likely will be a YouTube upload instead of a Facebook Live.


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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jcoelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

January 20, 2019

Screencap of the title page of Doug’s book from his own vanity press website.

Now there are two sets of words I never thought I would have to link for NLQ – ‘Doug Wilson’ and ‘Romance Novel’. But, alas, we must talk about this because Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog has written one. Has the seventh seal been opened? Will this usher in the apocalypse? Surely it must presage some worldwide cataclysmic event.

Last night after I found a link to the first chapter on Facebook I read it. Oh boy! Doug has that old fashioned Harlequin Romance style down so pat that even Dame Barbara Cartland would approve. Ridiculous names, boilerplate characters and boatloads of self-righteousness. Get a load of this:

“A young woman stood looking out at the distant
grain—stalks moving in obedience to their invisible
authorities.”
An early paragraph firmly establishing God’s authority in all things.

Doug also tries futilely to flex his word-muscles, tossing in things like “infralapsarianism” and “sermonic”. He did keep his usual bitter word-salading to a minimum, but this looks largely dull, old fashioned and uninteresting with characters named ‘Savannah’ and ‘Pastor Goforth’ Most everyone male seems to be thinking about becoming pastors in the first chapter.

See for your self and read this thing. The Man in the Dark Chapter 1

Wondering what the sex chapters will be like in a book with chapters named ‘The Potato Salad Incident’ and ‘Flirtation in the Kitchen.’


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Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jcoelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

April 10, 2020

Here we are. Good Friday, and the rain sure does fall on the righteous and unrighteous. I’ve been wanting to talk about Jessa Duggar Seewald’s video she did praising her father. Seems fitting on the day winding up from when Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss to be talking about the unHoly meglomaniac that it seems might be the true Jim Bob Duggar.

In the wake of Katie Joy of Without a Crystal Ball talking to Derick Dillard many media outlets have picked up on the story of control, contracts, and the outrageous behavior of family patriarch Jim Bob Duggar. It’s been in even the UK newspapers, only the U.S. mainstream media seems determined to ignore it. Loved how one gossip site put it this way “Did He Really Embezzle Millions From His Own Kids?”

Not embezzling if it’s him getting cheddar from The Learning Channel, and no one else is under contract. We’re covered before how that contract was likely set up, and Arkansas lax laws about things like the Coogan Law.

It’s par for that particular course that is TLC, the exploiter of the freakish and the underaged for sweet, sweet moolah. They use used, exploited and abused the Duggar kids through the years for money. Too bad the Bible doesn’t say anything about mammon and the love of it. /sarcasm. Praise the Lord and oh lawdy pass that TLC check.

I have to give Katie credit. She’s come out with some rather wild tales of Duggar daring do from locals. Tales of Jim Bob taking advantage of the local dump so often that they finally broke down and banner him. I learned that the Duggar house, that tin mansion funded and built largely by TLC is directly right across the street, within sight and smell of that same dump.

This speaks to the completely tightwad over the top penny pinching nature of Jim Bob too. Land near a dump is usually dirt cheap. Jim Bob had been wending a war of words against the dump and trying to palm off construction trash as household trash for some time now, even as he has a huge dumpster at his house that he could be putting all that construction junk into from his house flipping business. Instead we have this grifting for a penny lying, leading to the dump ban.

So earlier in the week Jim Bob’s married daughter Jessa Duggar Seewald did a video in praise of Jim Bob. People who are much more familiar with Jessa say that she usually has a small handwritten list she refers to in these videos, hand written grocery lists, etc, that they see routinely. She had in this video a four page typed and printed out list.

Critics are claiming that the four page document had to be straight from that Mussolini of Arkansas Fundytown Jim Bob Duggar, and the entire video was a disingenuous attempt by Jim Bob to refute all the allegations of control, contracts and money that Derick has been spewing about Jim Bob. It sure looks like it from here at least.

Quite obvious spin ordered by Jim Bob. Jessa and Ben do not work, and their income source is suspect. Likely they are funded by that contract they never signed. Interestingly enough on social media it was all the other Duggars who are supported by the Duggar family and not real jobs immediately liked and commented on it. The leader is good, the leader is great nonsense.

I laughed when I read this summation of the video on a Facebook group. This viewer hit the nail on the swollen egoist head. This was written by a moderator at That’s Enough Pink Drink For Today, a pretty funny Facebook group filled with awesome ladies that usually concerns themselves with the complete lunacy and narcissism that is Jill Rodrigues.

He read the bible each night and left them on a cliffhanger.

He told stories about his childhood.

He made the family pray for people at their church.

From the time you were three or four you were taught to pray for family members.
“It’s a true blessing from the lord that he gave me parents that care so much about my soul”.

When they were going through aomething hard her dad her told to just trust god.

Their dad didnt let them go to children’s church because he wanted to know what they were learning. Controlling much?

She really tries to stress the point that her parents love their kids “unconditionally even when we don’t see eye to eye, they just want to see that we love and are obeying the lord”.

“God’s way of doing things is often opposite of our natural inclinations”.

They went to silver dollar city. It was fun. So much fun. It was very fun. did I mention they had fun? Because it was fun. They packed cucumber in vinegar water, tomatoes and cheese sticks. Yum.

One time Jim Bob bought all of the kids over seven a jawbreaker! a few of the kids ate theirs for months. Cause that’s sanitary.

They went to Ohio to see Michelle’s family every few years. And once they rode a ferry.

She alludes to the fact that they didn’t start going on international mission trips until the show money started coming in.

He went to a mens conference and learned not to be angry.

On a child’s birthday Jim Bob and Michelle would take that child to lunch. Jim bob got upset that at Jana and JD’s 12th birthday they got a fancy pineapple drink and they were $7 each.

They got to ride their bikes to church.

She knows how to change her oil. And she used to take things apart.

Jim Bob hoards broken refrigerators and other junk in the warehouse.

When they were building the big house Jim Bob bought a restaurant kitchen including a large deep fryer. Michelle said she didn’t want it. Jim Bob installed it anyway. A few years later Jessa and Jana were rearranging the kitchen and wanted to get rid of the fryer to put useful storage there instead. Jim Bob said no because it’s like women wearing high heels. And there it still sits.

He taught her how to organize the pantry.

Trash is always blowing into the yard from trash trucks driving by.

Her parents taught her to drive.

God sees the big picture when you don’t.

Her dad used the kids to canvas the neighborhood when he was running for office.

Living in little rock when Josie was born was “fun” and she has “fond memories of that time”.

Be sweet. Apologize quickly and be your siblings bestfriend.

Jim bob told the kids from a young age that their mom is a virtuous woman from proverbs 31.

After the little kids went to bed JB and Michelle would talk to the older kids.

When they woke up at night from a bad dream they would have them pray about it.

He once hid from his kids for 45 minutes.

He used to roll his socks in a ball and throw them at people.

He used to unclog the toilet and one of the kids who was potty training had flushed their underwear because they “wanted to get rid of the evidence”.

They only went out to eat if it was kids eat free.

If they got fast food the order was always the same. ten burgers, ten chicken sandwiches and ten orders of fries. (That’s actually not a bad plan).

The Bates were in town once and all of the kids got a 24 hour stomach bug and Jim Bob and Gil bought Tylenol.

She tells the barbeque tuna story and says it was one of the better things he fed them. He once divided up one can corn, one can green beans, and one can butter beans for the kids to eat and gave them ketchup to dip it in.

Jim Bob bought a horse trough for the kids to use as a swimming pool.

She’s thankful her dad closely controlled what influences they were allowed to be exposed to.

If there was no dinner you didn’t care just eat cold soup right out of the can.

She’s seen him cry over strained relationships.

More bible shit.

Then Pickles of the Facebook group Duggar Family News: Life is not all pickles and Hairspray tried to jump into the fray. Ms. Pickles started ranting and crying about Without a Crystal Ball’s interview with Derick, claiming falsely that nothing new was revealed. Hello, what about that talk of the contract? That’s new and there were other things that everyone thought might be, but had no proof of.

Pickles the Cowardly Cucumber is merely jealous that Derick did not confide in her.  Notice that Pickles,  and her casual racism, has used the sobriquet “Pickles 4 Truth” while acting as another Duggar mouthpiece.  Not much real there, much less truthful.

Oh, and the judicial system appeals court shot down just the other day all but one of  Josh’s attempt to sue over the release of his police report over the molestation.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

March 28, 2020

You may or may not know that Ohio’s governor issued a “Stay at Home” order for all people not considered ‘essential’ starting last Sunday. Meaning if you’re a fireman, or a grocery store clerk, or a nurse or any of the professions on the list you go to work. If you’re an off-key warbling revivalist trussed up in loads of polyester and makeup while shilling Plexus you should stay home.

But like a bacterial load on a hot salami sandwich Jill Rodrigues went out today to preach, and handle babies. Ignoring all social distancing rules, and the law in Ohio like a potential Typhoid Mary.

Jill may claim that the “Stay at Home” order does not mean churches too, but I am seeing nothing on the website discussing the order that indicates that churches are exempt.

All three of these adults are breaking the law, and risking the health of not just that tiny baby, but any elderly or sick people they may be around in the future. This is utterly hateful to do in this time when squashing the illness curve is crucial. Irresponsible, uncaring, unloving and dangerous.

The governor of Ohio begged churches in a social media statement to not meet, to use streaming services and technology only. Churches are NOT exempt from this order! If David thinks  he read something exempting them from their responsibility to isolate then perhaps he needs reading lessons.

Then Jill tries to justify holding a conference last weekend when many places and churches had the good sense to close their doors and offer internet only meetings and services. Followed by Plexus shilling. It’s still illegal to make health claims about Plexus combating any illness.

Last week when they did the conference Ohio was not under the “Stay at Home” law. Now they are.

It is a fact that one of the women at the conference has since tested positive for COVID 19. Jill has been exposed, but she’s holding babies, going door to door, going to Walmart, possibly exposing oodles of people.

I mistakenly said it was Jill’s kids who were sick now. It’s actually her sister’s children, who were ill. I do not know if the kids were at the conference, but let’s be real here. None of these people can afford a sitter for their broods, which go everywhere with them.

That’s quite the little crime spree there, Jill.

Jill and David Rodrigues are rumored to have run from West Virginia to Ohio because of CPS and some of the newer homeschooling laws. If they keep acting like this they may face something more serious than a simple CPS investigation. Some states are prosecuting people for trying to infect others, ignoring quarantines, and risking the health of others.

Who would Jesus infect? Hopefully no one, He’d have sense enough to stay home. Worship God or not, but do it legally from a safe distance. This is no plot of Satan, or liberal media. It’s a pandemic with a dangerous virus that spreads easily during close contact.

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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

March 18, 2020

One thing is sure right now, the Quiverfull Christians are taking their theology in some strange fear-mongering places because admitting you are scared somehow runs contrary to what they think faith is. Larry Solomon of Biblical Gender Roles is no exception.

It’s normal to feel at least a little fear and concern during this COVID 19 pandemic. It’s healthy to admit it. It’s not healthy to direct it at others without any role in the thing you’re really worried about.

Larry makes it clear yet again that he hates the word and the notion of consent in this piece.

He rattles and rails on about how he hates that environmentalists can tell us what cars to drive and food to eat. He’s annoyed that “Feminists” and “Liberals” will not allow his hateful vile type of speech in their spaces. This little bit makes me laugh because it sounds like old Larry is having a meltdown over the idea of Bernie Sanders running for president:

“Socialist humanists have no problem with governments controlling wealth distribution by engaging in theft of private property from upper and middle economic classes and redistributing that to lower economic classes. “

We’ve all seen Larry’s home. He’d likely benefit greatly from the very thing he’s upset about. But this isn’t how Democratic Socialism works at all. This is Larry targeting his fears in the very wrong direction, upset that those he opposes have control over him, yet he has no control over much.

But then this turns into all woman blaming and male controlling now that Larry has mentioned his personal boogiemen under the bed.

“The reality is that humanists don’t really have a problem with themselves exercising a great amount of control over all elements of society. They just don’t want to submit to God’s order or control in their lives.”

The truth of the matter that Larry refuses to consider is this control he’s whinging and whining about is for the betterment of all society, not just a few weak wimpy white guys like him. What parts of the Bible say we shouldn’t have clean air and water, educate and feed people, make sure everyone has health care? Much of what these people he’s complaining about are doing things that Jesus seems to be all into.

“And this is why humanists utterly hate and consider evil the control which God called men to exercise over the lives of their wives in Genesis 3:16…”

No, Larry, they just do not see a master slave relationship like he does.

What Larry espouses does not even come close to the marriage relationships described in the Bible.

“In the same way that God has ordained husbands as human instruments of sanctification in the lives of their wives, sin attempts to use wives as human instruments of temptation in the lives of their husbands. We see this in the very first act of sin committed by Eve when she gave Adam the forbidden fruit.”

Adam could have said ‘no’ but he chose not to. Adam is responsible for his own damn decision to eat that fruit. In Larry’s world men are all powerful and controlling, yet so damn weak that they cannot resist whatever slight temptation. In all reality there is no woman rushing about trying to tempt men into sin. It is their own decision to do the wrong thing.

But then it gets really nasty, and Larry’s last sentence shows his real intent. He’s upset he cannot legally force his wife or any other woman to have sex with him.

“But humanists have a big problem, a colossal problem, with any one trying to exercise any control over the “personal” decisions of women. Nope don’t go there. If women want to have all kinds of sex with different men outside of marriage men better just shut their mouths and stop “slut-shaming” women. And if women want to murder their unborn babies in their wombs, often a result of their whoring around, no one can control that. If wives want to commit adultery with other men there should be no negative consequences or shaming of such women. If women don’t want to have sex with their husbands, men better not coerce them into having sex in any way otherwise that is “marital rape”.

But God calls men to exercise control over their own sin natures as well as well as the human instrument of temptation that sin often uses, which is a man’s wife.”

Dear Mrs. Larry. Please step forward, please charge him with marital rape, because it’s obvious from his vile words that’s what’s going on in your household in Michigan. You don’t deserve this type of abusive treatment from anyone.

Larry is an abuser that wants to be able to legally abuse. He’s out of luck.

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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

 

 

February 13, 2020

Larry’s “Biblical Gender Roles” are about as useful and real as mermaids and centaurs.

So Larry didn’t really say that. He just named  one of his awful screeds on why women suck but he cannot keep his manly parts out of them. Larry got it from a commenter that  pointed out how depressing and demeaning Larry’s theology is, that he’d kill himself if he was a woman.

Yesterday afternoon I finally got my internet back and was coming here to post something so incredibly awful by Larry comparing women to pigs. But I was felled by a big bout of low blood pressure and just went to bed at 4 pm. It happens. It’s the dumb asthma.

What did Larry say to kick off his recent female blame-a-thon? This.

“How often do we hear from women “men are pigs!” and usually this is in reference to men being slobs or men acting in what may or may not be inappropriate sexual ways toward women. But did you know the Bible exhorts women not to act like pigs? In Proverbs 11:22 the Bible says “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion”.

When a woman speaks out of place that is a woman without discretion. An example would be when a woman’s father or husband are speaking with a group of people and the woman interjects with an opinion that contradicts her father or her husband.

A woman who says whatever she wants, whenever she wants and however, she wants to say it is a pig.”

Larry accompanied this charming missive with a photo of pigs wallowing in mud, in complete contrast to the reality that pigs are quite intelligent and rather clean.

At least pigs are pretty awesome when compared to some barnyard mannered men. Women sometimes use the pig generalization to point to guys that would live like bears with furniture. This is what happens if the women in their lives didn’t insist on napkins, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, and using coasters on wooden furniture. It’s for their own good, for the betterment of everyone, but male brains aren’t always wired to do the civilized thing in a patriarchal society sadly enough.

Sorry, but putting your muddy feet on the sofa and surrounding yourself in a sea of detritus is likely to make the lady in your life call you a pig. Please don’t do that.

What Larry – boy fails to mention is that women speaking over men is not the problem. It’s a problem when ANYONE does this to anyone else, men, women, children, aliens, krakens, robots, Mr. Ed the Talking Horse, it does not matter what form of sentient being, or sex that they are. Anyone else talking over someone else is pure and simply abusive and disrespectful. Larry thinks it’s only happening with women. Wrong-o again.

But then we end up here today, with a likely catfished comment to Larry designed to get a rise out of him, and make him rant. It worked.

“Why do you guys feel the need to be superior then woman in literally EVERYTHING. It’s like woman can’t catch a break! I’m not trying to be rude as I’m only twelve. Why is this discussion important? Shouldn’t we be talking about God instead of another disadvantage of getting the trash gender? I’d hate to be born female. I would’ve cut of my genitals if I had to. Just so I would get the gender that gets have a relationship with God. Please, Larry just explain to me. Why? Why do woman have to be inferior? Why do they need to be second class. Imagine this, being born with something that you couldn’t control and you having to be nothing more then an object. I’d rather kill myself having to have that gender.”

What Larry does not tell the poor kid that wrote this is that the very reason Larry et al are obsessed with denying, denigrating and treating women like dirt is their own poorly formed inner selves. Powerless little beta males going ‘Yes, dear’ to the wife, yet saying these horrible things about women online are as common as sparrows. Self esteem so lowly that they must take it out on the women around them online. But not in real life. I’m still not convinced that Larry isn’t a hen-pecked, harried and harrassed milquetoast in real life.

“This is why God made men with more muscle mass, more logical and systemizing natures as well as being more aggressive and competitive. All of these attributes represent the image of God in man. Woman was given her shared human attributes with man not to represent God with her life, but rather to make her a suitable companion for man. This was meant to picture how all of mankind is weaker than God and needs his strength, his provision and his leadership.”

I guess Larry missed that part in Genesis where God said both women and men were created in His image. Twisting scripture again to fit his sour little need to self-aggrandize a tiny inferior inner self.

“Lastly, regarding your feeling that you would want to kill yourself if you were a woman if this is God’s design for woman. This is a message I receive all the time. Probably about once a week at least. The reason for your feelings is because you have been raised in a humanist culture where equality, rather than duty is it is highest value. If a person does not have equal rights and privileges with another person than they are being said to be treated as less than human and their life does not have value.

This is why many today, reason that is better to abort a child that will have some physical disability or be born to an impoverished family. Because after all, if they will not be equal in their physical abilities and equal in their lifestyle to others, what is the point of the life?”

Whoever suggested abortion as a remedy for poverty? This is not at all one of the major reasons people chose abortion. Abortion is a terrible choice, made even more difficult by idiot rock throwers who have never had to make such a tragic choice. And aborting for a child with a significant birth defect is sometimes kinder than bringing a child into this world who will only know pain during its short tormented life. Please, if you’ve never had to walk in those particular shoes hold your judgement of what you would do, because you just do not know which way you would go.

But this abortion talk of Larry’s is just another distraction, and has nothing to do at all with his constant disrespect of women.

If Larry is receiving this message all the time he needs to give it some thought as to why that would be. Surely he cannot fail to realize that if you constantly keep up a demeaning, disgusting, degrading stream of messages about women someone will notice, and notice you hate women. Others notice when you must put women down to try and inflate your own low self esteem.

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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

January 23, 2020

Yesterday I finally got internet connection again just in time to witness a pile of curious things involving this “Make Women Great Again” conference and a few prominent Christian Red Pill guys. When I got up this morning and found Lori Alexander once again babbling about the conference after many commenters tried to warn her what the conference  founder was all about (and it is not good) to no avail I knew it merited a second post today on top of Debi Pearl’s complaining about fecal transplants.

First  let’s look at Lori glorying in against all warnings this silly conference. The 22 Conference that is likely to be deserted save a few journalists showing up just to document the freak show nature of it all:

There’s a conference being put on by men called “Make Women Great Again.” The organizer of the event, Anthony Johnson, contacted me and told me that my viral post Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos was the motivation for having this conference. In a video of his, he uses the picture for my viral post and says that women like this are today’s rebel and nearly impossible to find. He’s right!

Some asked if there was going to be some Christian male teachers at this conference and he responded by saying there will be Christian men but this is NOT a Christian conference. This type of conference wouldn’t even be needed if pastors and older women were teaching this in all, or at least many, of the churches. It’s a sad state of affairs that a conference like this is teaching biblical womanhood by men when most churches won’t.”

 

And exactly what type of man is Lori praising here for teaching and leading this conference? Anthony “Beach Muscles” Johnson.  This guy.

and this….

Yes, this is the moral caliber of the man Lori Alexander has chosen to follow and support. Klazzy! There is zero evidence beyond Beach Muscles crowing how ‘moral’ and ‘Christian’ he is that he has any faith. That tweet is little more than a  year old, and it speaks volumes about the type of man this ‘leader’ is. He is a man who sees women only as fungible, only as objects to be used and discarded at will, not fully human. I hate to use these words but… jizz storage units.

Lori follows by praising former pick up artist and now Christian mansphere idol Roosh V. to make her point and it does not help  her cause any.

“***Here’s some good news, it appears that some men in the “manosphere” are turning to Christ! Holding biblical values without Christ are meaningless. Here is what Roosh published on Twitter yesterday and wrote above it, “A masculine Christian revival will replace the manosphere.”

Not on my tintype buddy! He posted a tweet Lori is speaking of here with talking about Molyneux and others are steering the conversation among the Red Pill guys back to Christ and now all of them will take their Godly Kings position and teach the lowly unGodly women who is boss.

Keep in  mind these guys are all akin to this one guy.

Mystery, the star of VH1’s “The Pickup Artist”, just one of many in a lineup of bad reality shows that included Bret Michael’s “Rock of Love” and Flavo Flav’s  “Flavor of Love” Mystery seems to have taken his fur hat and guyliner and disappeared into the manosphere ether after the show and his book. Except he is still apparently out there teaching his questionable methods to other guys. Someone is still buying this load of twaddle. Want to raise your blood pressure this morning? Read  about their technique of “Negging” which is a type of abusive gaslighting.

There is nothing genuine or safe about any of these guys, the ones that screech what good Christians they are while negging you, right down to fur hatted Mystery trying to get into someone’s pants.

Which leads us to this. A couple of guys who straddle the Red Pill/Christian line have started to disappear from the online world. The newest one, that Lori Alexander always loved, is the repellent Dalrock. Dalrock after nearly ten years is stopping all his writing apparently.

Oh happy day!

I think we are witnessing the beginning of the end of the whole silly manosphere/red pill/mens rights/incel/mgtow thing, just the very first rumblings that all is not well there, something we’ve already known for sometime now. What type of angry self-hating women links herself to these guys? Lori.

On a final Lori note today I have to share what has to be the sickest literally of commenters on Lori’s recent promotion of her own eating beliefs, her video about her pantry and her crazy ideas on nutrition. I post this as a caution. Please, no one should EVER be taking 30 benadryl pills a day for any reason. I take them, I take lots of them, as does Cindy Kunsman and others I know that struggle with allergies and asthma. They are a helpful tool that is very far down on the dangerous list, at least right up until you start taking them in toxic kill your liver and kidneys amounts! This is one of the big dangers of Quiverfull, self medicating in dangerous ways instead of listening to what a legitimate doctor says. And yeah, while deleteing anyone that does not agree with Lori on Beach Muscles she let this dangerous garbage stay up.

Being serious here. If you’re taking that high a dose of over the counter meds you have a problem that likely mental health professionals should be dealing with. Not online cranks suffering from malnutrition.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon




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