Welcome to Bikini Verklempting Season! – Modesty Screeds

Welcome to Bikini Verklempting Season! – Modesty Screeds May 17, 2019

Found this on Facebook. The person that reposted it had scratched out the name of the original author. I wish they had not because ignorance this deep combined with treating men like uncontrollable animals needs to be exposed for the ugly it is. This is so deeply misogynistic and demeaning to both women and men.

Every single year we can track the seasons by the first semi-hysterical rant posted by a QF or Evangelical or Fundamentalist woman claiming that women out there were defrauding their sons and husbands. Bikinis and yoga pants, oh my! Someone might just figure out there are breasts and bottoms in that clothing and become aroused.

Picks self off floor from laughing! Modesty in Los Angeles summers filled with unbearable heat? Oh please! Why on earth would anyone live in Los Angeles, home of the entertainment business which sells by sexual innuendo, and expect a pure culture with women wearing jumpers and loose dresses? That would be like me moving to an Islamic country and demanding they put pork on the menu of every restaurant. I love my bacon, but that’s a bit too far to expect any entire culture to change for little old me.

Every single year as soon as the daffodils start shedding their petals the Modesty Police pop up. They show up reminding everyone that the males in their families are not capable of seeing collar bones or ankles without it creating an erection.

They want to make women the gatekeepers to the sexuality of men. It’s not our role, right or responsibility. Funny how outside of the high demand religious organization bubble men somehow manage not to rape, molest or sexually abuse women around them wearing different clothing.

And we’re there, one of the most damning and damaging ideas in many branches of Christianity. Men are animal in nature and cannot control their impulses for sex. This reduces men to fully less than human, uncontrollable beasts that must copulate with every stray female that hints at the secondary sexual features of their bodies. Women being responsible for the sexual behavior of men.

May I remind you of some of the stranger posts we’ve done on the subject.

Nancy Campbell – Modesty is About the Protection of Women

Lori Alexander – Tattooless Virgins

Judging Modesty

Modesty Police – this one is where Lori threatens to spank women wearing thongs around her husband Ken.

What Does ‘True Modesty” Mean?

Slutty, Slutty Yoga Pants

Michael and Debi Pearl – Modesty is Everyone’s Issue

Girl Defined – Modeling and Modesty

Did the Duggar Modesty Scale Change?

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thank you for the thought provoking article. I can always tell it is Spring when the “What happened to Modesty?” editorials start hitting blogs and comment boards. It is usually just a little after Baseball season starts, and just as the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue hits newsstands.

  • Kit Hadley-Day

    i think it’s worse than that, getting ‘excited’ seeing an attractive member of the opposite sex is not a problem, unless you believe in thought crimes. If the thought is the problem then you really have to blame the object of the thought, as the thought is next to impossible to control. sex is way to fundamental to the human psyche to just decide that you are not going to be effected by it, the pretense that you can is probably one of the reasons they like to claim the homosexuality is a choice.

    Because in the minds of these zealots the thought is the deed and is enough to get you condemned to hell for ever, you have to stop the thought, not just not act on it.

    Funny how they never seem to think that women suffer from the same issues, and that it is fine for young men to go around topless in the sun. Is it simply that men have a more obvious way of seeing when they are ‘excited’ so policing women is a lot harder.

  • Knitting Cat Lady

    There’s only one reason I don’t wear bikinis: I can’t be bothered to slather on that much sunscreen.

    I’m of ‘glow in the dark white’ complexion. My torso in particular burns fast.

    So I wear men’s(!) swim shorts and UV blocking swim shirts. And a UV blocking cap.

    I also wonder what the writer of that post would say about the two hot pants guys in my home city.

    They’re two guys. With long, dyed blond, permed hair. They always wear short shorts, not matter the weather. And the short shorts are so short halve an ass cheek hangs out. And the shorts are so tight they leave NOTHING to the imagination. And they wear midriff bearing spaghetti tops. They’re sun bed tanned. Their clothing is often sparkly.

    They must be approaching 70 by now. I always admire their dedication to their style.

  • Anri

    Hey there, Bundy Canyon Parent: Imma tell you something that might just blow your mind so maybe sit down.

    Women aren’t thinking about you when they dress. Nor do they have to. The end.

    The single effect of you being upset about this is you being upset about this.
    And guess what else women don’t have to think about? You being upset about this.
    If you are honestly that offended by women around you having bodies, the solution must lie with you, not them.

    (…and if you think the streets of LA are raunchy, I hope you never discover this “internet” thing.)

  • SAO

    “…clothing that causes promiscuous behavior.” Clothing does not cause promiscuous behavior and suggesting that it does is along the same lines as suggesting a woman wearing certain clothing was ‘asking for’ rape, thus her rapist is not or less guilty than had she been dressed differently.

  • Saraquill

    Right below the end of this post* is an ad for bathing suits and minidresses, complete with photos.

    *appeared for me, may not apply to others.

  • Saraquill

    I’ve been sunburned often enough while swimming that I prefer to wear a massive t shirt over my person. I also admire the skin protection Muslim bathing suits likely provide.

    Chances are this person complaining about modesty also decries those garments.

  • Martin Penwald

    o This one is where Lori threatens to spank women wearing thongs around her husband Ken

    Mmmmh, is there pictures ? Asking for a friend.

  • TheSweetgirl79

    I just last year had 3rd degree sunburn on my left shoulder and back. Had to go to the emergency room. The Muslim bathing suits are a very good idea.

  • igotbanned999

    I had a fundie once tell me that bikinis were so named because of the nuclear testing at Bikini Atoll, and how they were just as devastating to ‘morality’ as a nuclear bomb is to the environment around it.

  • kilda

    omg, me too. I’m not at all modesty minded but I’m so pale I’m practically blue. I have to use SPF 50 and slather it on about every 2 hours and it’s such a pain. My dream is a sunscreen pill. UVskinz changed my swimwear life.

  • kilda

    check out UVskinz. All the coverage, while still being cute.

  • Friend

    I’m going to be very naughty and… recommend… that everyone check out the amazingly fantabulous “swimwear” sold by Zsuzsanna Anderson, the submissive wife of Steve Anderson (man boobs, banned from Ireland, that guy).

    Use your incognito window if you want to sneak a peek! Can anybody find any style differences between these alleged bathing suits and a garden party dress from the Eisenhower years?


    Oh, and she sells PATTERNS!!!!!


    By making the swim dress all one piece, there is no danger of the top floating up from the leggings in water and exposing a bare midriff, no matter how wildly kids play in the pool, jump in, etc. This also eliminates the need for an elastic waist band on the leggings part. Most elastic typically gives out after moderate use due to the chlorine in pools. By not using elastic in the waist band, the lifespan of your swim dress will be greatly prolonged. This also makes for a more comfortable design by accommodating an expanding waistline while pregnant.

  • Friend

    The bikini was named after the atoll, days after testing. But it wasn’t named for environmental devastation. An apt comparison would be for me to name a tiny new swimsuit the Wall… er, the Tariff… maybe the Bolton.

  • texassa

    I wear bikinis because that’s what I deem appropriate swim attire. It has nothing to do with sex or men or attention or promiscuity. If my bikini means those things to someone else, that is their own personal issue. See also: running tights, tank tops, workout shorts, etc.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    You are just in danger of drowning if you try to swim in the ocean or surf wearing one of those monstrosities. Just the idea of going from prone to pushing up on the surfboard in that thing makes me think you’d have to catch your knee on the skirt and fall off the board. Sometimes fashion is more about functionality than looks.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I wore one the summer I had chemo. It allowed me to swim and surf yet not get a third degree burn. Better designed than most of those ‘modest’ swimsuits.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Rash guard shirts are good too.

  • Oh, no! Bikinis in Los Angeles? What’s the world coming to? I never would have imagined such a thing.

    Wait. They’ve been wearing bikinis in Los Angeles for more than half a century. How old is this curmudgeon? 90?

  • AFo

    They always make it seem like a sinister plot rather than just wearing what’s comfortable and convenient. Like girls and women everywhere are SPECIFICALLY wearing shorts, tank tops, and bikinis to torment men. Sorry, but you’re not that special or important.

  • Knitting Cat Lady

    Last year I faced the problem of going to Portugal on holiday with fresh surgical scars on my stomach. I got my gall bladder removed three weeks before we left.

    I actually contemplated buying a muslim swim suit but I couldn’t find one in my size.

  • Knitting Cat Lady

    I like to body surf. Just catch the wave after it’s broken and drift to the beach.

    If you time it wrong you’ll catch the spin cycle instead.

    Getting up after that is difficult enough with fairly close fitting swimming clothes.

    One of those dresses and you’d drown.

  • frostysnowman

    Who knew well-fitting capris could be saucy? I’m surprised that person would encourage women to dress saucily.

  • Kit Hadley-Day

    is there point hidden in that monosylabic comment or just a general sense of confusion.

  • GeckoShamelessRaceMixer

    I actually think women have gotten more modest with beach attire since the 90s. The eighties was probably the high water mark of string bikinis. You’ll still see some but you’ll see more women in boy shorts or tankinis. Midriff baring baby tees and extremely low cut jeans have gone out of style. Daisy dukes aren’t seen all that often.

    But I guess if your modesty standard is based on the Handmaids Tale…

  • Same here. I am probably the whitest person that you will ever see. I look at the sun from a window and I fricassee. (Okay, that was an exaggeration but not by much.)

  • I would definitely wear one.

  • You mean the Sports Illustrated pr0n issue, right? I have lost count of how many people like to call it that. (At one point, my husband would buy the SI Swimsuit calendar. I think he still has a few of them.)

  • Caliente…

  • smrnda

    I’d like to see a video documenting that it’s possible to even swim in those.

  • persephone

    I was in high school in the 70s (I told you I was old. several times), in a small town in the northern California. We wore cutoffs and tank tops to school. Even as JWs, we girls would often wear halter tops (covered way more than a bikini top) when not in school. I do not remember any reports of girls/young women getting attacked or molested in our school or around town.

    Purity culture is just another way the patriarchy attempts to control women. Those jerks need to grow up.

  • persephone

    The ESPN body issue is better.

  • SAO

    I think they were named when “bombshell” meant a really hot babe and, being the place where the biggest, hottest bomb was tested, they were named for that. Initially, there was a lot of excitement about the wonderful, powerful forces unleashed by modern nuclear science, before people got a better idea of just how much devastation could be caused and that maybe it wasn’t cause for celebration.

  • Freodin

    Won’t somebody think of the children!

    Times have changed somewhat here as well… there isn’t as much public nudity around as in my youth. Still, there are topless areas even in major cities. And no one cares.

    Back in the 80’s, there was a pond in my neighborhood. Well kept, a favorite bathing spot. Almost all women went topless. Old, young, top-model body or just normal. And no one cared. Of course there were children. Boys, girls… often completely naked. AND NO ONE FUCKING CARED!

    Christian “modesty” has and has had an enormous influnce on American “culture”. The puritanism isn’t limited to the religious. A lot of Americans are prudes… and most are totally fluxomed when they encounter some more open societies abroad.

  • Do you happen to live in M/Germany? If so, I think I know who you are talking about. (I thought they had changed their outfit, died or moved away, but I saw them last week..)

  • Knitting Cat Lady

    I did. And my parents still do! I’m glad they’re still around.

  • paganheart

    I will definitely check them out. I’m so pale it seems like I burn if I so much as think about going out in the sun (shout out to my Scottish, Welsh and Irish ancestors…) and I have had some bad burns in my day, even using sunscreen. I had a “pre-cancerous” mole taken off my back last week, so definitely time for more drastic sun protection measures.

  • firebubbles310

    I ended up getting a Birkini and not wearing the hijab because of sunburn issues. Comfy, loose and won’t end up topless in the ocean. Hate that my siblings got the Native America skin and I got pale. Ugh.

  • Ann Kah

    Notably absent here is the wild-and-crazy idea of males taking personal responsibility for their own eyes and their own behavior. Might I point out that if males are always treated as boys to be protected, they’ll never catch on to the idea that they’re supposed to grow up.

  • Ann Kah

    I visited Dubrovnik a number of years ago, and was delighted to see that topless beaches were not reserved for nubile young things. Withered old grannies (of which I am now one) also went topless, making it perfectly clear that topless was for comfort rather than for exhibitionism. That’s a very healthy attitude. It’s embarrassing to hear how my fellow Americans get all up tight about what used to be known as “a state of nature”.

  • Ann Kah

    My natural color is fish-belly white, with freckles/age spots in exposed places. Long sleeved shirts are an essential part of my wardrobe.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    …Perhaps “Russian election interference”, or “NK testing nukes”? 😉

    “Trump-kini”…because small hands, small mind, small…well you know. 😉

  • Jennifer

    Where are you from?

  • Freodin


  • Trellia

    Like this? 😉 I like bikinis because it’s much easier to go to the bathroom tugging on a bottom piece compared to the entirety of a one-piece. I also spend almost all my time in the water, and put on a dress or coverup immediately when getting on the beach.


  • Trellia

    Ugh, one of the many reasons I’m glad I’m not in retail anymore.


    “No, ma’am, we can’t move this from the register area, they pay for this spot.” “Yes, sir, I can think for myself, and I don’t care. I’m not calling corporate to complain myself.”

  • Yes, I am glad, too.