On Second Thought, Camping and Baby Bottles

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now!

Episode Thirteen, Air Date: July 31, 2012

We moved to Juneau when Mom became Governor of Alaska, which was a big transition for our family.  When I joined my new school’s basketball team, the team manager, Marissa, quickly became my best friend. Half Japanese and half native, she had dark hair, a funny sense of humor, and we became best friends instantly.  And we still are!

Back in those more innocent days of school, we never would’ve guessed both of us would’ve ended up pregnant without being married.  That’s why I was glad she and I were able to do something nice for unwed teen moms.  I loved sitting around with those girls, their cute babies, and hearing everyone’s stories.  Talking to them gives a more realistic picture of teen pregnancy.  Though the children are blessings, having them without the benefit of marriage is not ideal.

I wanted to give them a little encouragement, and what better way than with a Bible verse?  Mom helpfully provided some inspiration.  In case you couldn’t hear which Bible verses we underlined in those cute pink Bibles, it was Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

It was great to have Gino camping with us, but – gosh – it’s always so complicated.  It pains me when I hear Tripp call him Dad.   (Though, truth be told, he also uses that term to refer to my dad, my brother, and my uncles.  He seems to address anyone who’s a father figure to him as “Dad,” something he’ll grow out of I’m sure.  Thankfully, he has the best role models in my dad and brother.  This will help him be so well rounded because he gets to be around such good guys!)  Gino particularly annoyed me when he described his ideal relationship, by saying he wanted me to be a “good girl who will cook and clean.”

Cook and clean? Of course, I cook and clean.  But I’m more than that.  I’m convinced he realizes this, but the whole conversation just struck me wrong.  I think sometimes we just talk past each other.  I don’t know. Since neither of us are perfect, it’s just hard to know how to deal with our relationship sometimes.

At least I didn’t lose $400.

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  • http://www.twitter.com/xthred xthred

    Listen to Willow!

  • Truth101

    “Though the children are blessings, having them without the benefit of marriage is not ideal.”

    The thing is you were to young to have a baby and to young to get marry. Marriage at a young age would not have solved anything.

    You need to drop the need for wanting a Dad for Tripp or marriage. You are so not ready to tie the knot with anybody so just enjoy your son and stop me complaining.

    You have had 3 years as a single mother now and it is time to show you have learned something from it.

    • Kim

      I think that is a bit harsh. We only see a small portion of Bristol’s life. Bristol – I think you are doing great with Tripp.

      • Truth101

        I think she is doing a great job with Tripp too. I just hope she gets over this needing a father figure for Tripp complex. I just don’t get it. She is only 21 and instead of thinking she needs a man in her life she should occupy her time by going back to school.

  • James

    People don’t change so take them for what they are or don’t take them at all. Gino is telling you what he wants… if that is not what you want to be then get out now.

    I would love to see you be more than Gino’s wife if that is what you really want. So far I have not seen any real aspirations of your own besides wanting marriage. Aside from profiting off your son and your mother what do you want out of life? Those opportunities won’t last forever and that well will run dry. Take an example from Willow and Track and go out do something for yourself… like college or career education. Reality TV is not a career and it will be over soon.

  • Renee

    I KNOW THE IDEAL LIFE WOULD INCLUDE A FATHER FOR TRIPP, but if you aren’t happy with where you and Gino are at or going, then cut your losses because YOU DESERVE TO HAVE SOMEONE WHO LOVES, RESPECTS AND CARES ABOUT YOU!! It was interesting to hear Gino say what he did about his relationship with you…in that he wasn’t in a relationship with Tripp, so he had to remember that and realize the relationship is with YOU! Keep the faith!

  • bellagrazi

    Bristol, it shouldn’t pain you to hear Tripp call Gino “Dad”. You should be thrilled! Tripp loves Gino. And Gino once said that Tripp totally has his heart. I don’t know why you just can’t accept the fact that these two share a serious bond. Unless you are uncertain about your future with Gino. Personally, I don’t think you have to worry about that. Gino is obviously deeply in love with you. Have faith in that love. But you and Gino definitely talk past one another! Haha That scene outside the camper was super funny! And super cute! And I know that Gino realizes that you do more than cook and clean. I think he was just trying to get a rise out of you. Good job in holding your temper in that exchange. As for being a “good girl” – I think he just wants you to not flip out on him like you did in Arizona. Gino seems like a good guy, Bristol. I don’t think he wants to control you. He just wants your relationship to be 50/50. Or at least 60/40. Haha Please give the guy a chance. I remember Marissa from the bar fight in L.A. That’s the kind of friend you want in your corner. Her little girl is a doll! I’m really glad you girls paid the unwed teen moms a visit. I think you did a lot of good. By the way, you owe Willow $400 dollars! Payton seems like a smart guy and he says it’s not up for debate. Haha

  • Kelly

    My son calls the any guy that is around his dad. Of course he does know who his dad is when ever he does see him. I does break my heart inside that he does call other men dad, but I do know that my son does have great role models in his life!

  • http://berkerblog.blogspot.com SueB

    Take your time with Gino. You have lots of time to really decide about a lifetime relationship. It was nice of you to take the gift baskets to the pregnancy center.

    • http://yahoo.com millie

      Bristol,
      I agree with SueB. Take your time with Gino. You want this to turnout to be a lifetime
      relationship. It’s better to take the time now and find out where you both are and understand
      your differences rather than finding them out after you take that big step. Tripp will adjust
      if you both find out it would not work. Better than fighting all the time and he has to experience
      that. All I am saying is be sure when you make the choices that it is the right one for both
      you and Tripp.

  • Carrie

    Hi Bristol!

    I LOVE your show! From what I see on the show it seems like Gino is an awesome father to Tripp, who is super cute, btw. I have an almost 3 year old son myself. As far as your relationship with Gino goes…I feel like you want something more serious and maybe he’s not ready for marriage yet? Or maybe he’s intimidated by your opportunities and business ventures that you pursue. Of course, I am assuming all of this and only know you both from the show so I could be wayyyy off base. Sometimes I wonder if maybe you and Gino did go into something together…some sort of business opportunity, but you gave him the reigns and let him be in charge of it, it would somehow allow him to feel like the grizzly man he is…lol. I don’t know. Please, I am only trying to help and god knows that I have my own relationship issues. Anyway, I think you guys are great together…but I don’t know the whole story either…

    Don’t worry so much about Tripp calling him dad…I wouldn’t even acknowledge the fact…it will work itself out…and maybe in the end…that’s exactly the name Tripp should be calling him.

    Oh and Gino’s right about one thing…you do have beautiful smile!!!

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