We’re finally 90% through this crazy cracked funhouse mirror of a book, Debi Pearl’s “Create a Better Brain Through Neuroplasticity” I think when this ends we’re going to have to look at that parenting book on keeping your children safe written by the lunatic that showed up to lecture us hard. The name escapes me now, I read the book and it was also a crazy cakes pile of weirdness, just not quite at this level.
So so tempted to label this “Love Sucks in Fnndytown”
Last week’s chapter, which was all about Michael Pearl’s very unusual prurient interests, and it is here. This week Debi is talking about falling in love. Knowing how toxic most marriages are in this subculture I hold no hope for this advice at all.
Debi starts by talking about the chemical mysteries of pheromones, and how dogs will work through any obstacle course to reach that female in heat.
“Almost all deodorants are perfumed, which means that most of us are masking our natural odor with a chemical concocted in a laboratory.”
Sorry, Debi will need a more compelling argument than that to get me to put down my Tom’s deodorant! As I suspect it is for many others. No deodorant can mask all of your natural funk.
Then Debi goes on to make claims about ‘Sweaty – Tee Shirt Parties’ happening for years and years to find Mr. or Ms. Right. Supposedly how it worked was that girls would show up, be handed an armload of stinky sweaty tee shirts to sniff and decide which tee shirt owner she wanted to meet.
Funny, I was pretty sophisticated as a teen back in the same old hippie days as Debi and never once heard of these tee shirt sniffing parties. I would have likely been done to experiment with that back then.
Then Debi talks about this being an experiment in New Mexico, and that women ovulating prefer the sweat of men who are the healthiest. No details on who ran this experiment and when it happened, just a bunch of babbling about measurements and tests. More babbling about Hutterites and other groups that were studied.
She bemoans that pheromones do not play the role they once did because people bathe and this:
“We then douse ourselves with masking chemicals.”
Sorry, I’m still going to prefer soap and water and deodorant. Debi then quotes Napoleon and Albert Einstein. She does not seem to realize that this great love she’s claiming between an unwashed Napoleon and Josephine was a fleeting thing. He divorced her later.
She rattles on that the unwashed find love at first sight, or sniff, based almost solely on pheromones before dopamine and other neurotransmitters kick in and make us fall in love. Apparently intellect, compatibility, mutual interests, and physical attraction do not figure in her ideas on love at all. She talks all sorts of what can only be described as utter twattle about brain chemistry controlling falling in love almost entirely.
I do think that chemical attraction plays some role in attraction, but it’s not the be all, end all that Debi makes it seem here.
“Studies show that enhancing emotional bonds between people will help heal the limbic system.”
Funny, the only places I am finding this about the limbic system claim she’s making here is a pile of sketchy fundamentalist Christian websites. The actual medicine and science ones mention more about the role of the limbic system in recovery from trauma and chronic medical conditions like migraines. Hey, Mel, where are you? I need more information on this to say she’s completely wrong, even if my gut is telling me that Debi is wrong here.
She goes on to claim that young teenagers can also feel this same insane love with levels of pheromone after meeting that right person. I wonder how she explains the intense feelings of love and connection many of us felt in our preteen years for celebrities. Those of you who have seen the grainy photo of my 12 year old self and my bedroom papered with photos of Donny Osmond know I deeply loved him. Despite never getting close enough to smell his pheromones, even if I did see him in concert once. I had friends that loved David Cassidy, and older cousins that were all about the Monkeys or Bobby Sherman.
The last teen idols I’ve known of are 1Directon. Who is big right now with the teenybopper crowd? Does anyone know?
No pheromones involved at all, and a normal stage of development for most girls as it’s a way to feel those intense love feelings in a completely safe and protected way. I am guessing Debi would consider it some sort or sin or soul connection.
Then Debi moves on to vasopressin and oxytocin. Yawn. Pretty standard hormone information here for once.
“Love doesn’t require sexual desire to produce neurotransmitters…”
Another thank you Captain Obvious! I love my octopus printed wallet, but I don’t want to sleep with it.
And then we’re back to young teens feeling their feels because of smells and pheromones. About ten more pages of lather, rinse, repeat what we’re already covered before Debi goes to divorce and hormones.
“Divorce comes about when a man or a woman begins to mentally play with the idea of being with a person other than their spouse.”
I’m just gonna stop Debi right there. This is the biggest more dangerous pile of garbage in this chapter. This had no role in my own quick divorce after an early marriage. It had to do with abuse, and his love of pulling stunts that would make MTV’s “Jackass” look sedate and mannerly. Most of the people I’ve know well who divorce, including a few friends currently embroiled in ongoing divorces have more to do with desperation, abuse, and just reaching the end of their rope with certain behaviors. It is not a step anyone takes lightly.
Debi blames men looking at immodest woman for men wandering, making women yet again the gatekeepers for all male sexuality. Instead of where the responsibility truly belongs, with the man controlling himself. She backs this up with a stupid story about an immodest Christian girl at camp. This girl married the guy she made lust and then he abused her.
Then another fake story, of a boy that resists the charms of the immodest girl and picking the modest girl his parents wanted him to end up with. Funny how pheromones played no factor at all in this second story, but Debi does not seem to realize that she’s inconsistent here.
Followed by the story of an awkward Amish boy and a girl liking his Facebook page. Laughing so much right now! Most Amish shun fancy things like electricity, the same electricity that it takes to run a computer and post a Facebook page. I find this the most unlikely of the tales. I am sure there are at least a few Amish with Facebook pages, hello Rumspringa!, I think it’s not too common from my observation.
And we’re out! Debi proves she knows very little about the delicate dance that is love. It’s not all chemical.
And the next chapter looks like it is about masturbation and all sorts of weird things. These people scare me!
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