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September 2019
September 25, 2019
How Steven Furtick Graduated from SBTS Officially Added as 8th Wonder of the World
MATTHEWS, NC – After years of confounding researchers, theologians, and scientists, the question of how...
May 2018
May 10, 2018
Mardel’s Shopper Wanders Store 40 Years Looking For ‘Theology’ Book Section
"We encourage any customer wanting to locate the Mardel's 'Theology' book section to utilize our...
December 2017
December 07, 2017
Life Hack: 7 Ways to Give Good Vibes Instead of Presents This Christmas Season
7) Avoid Spending Time with Your Family One of the easiest ways to get bummed...
November 2017
November 15, 2017
Baptist Research Panel Confirms: Premarital Sex Leads to Dancing
In the small, Mid-west town known by the name of Bomont, a panel of fundamentalist...
November 08, 2017
Doctors Confirm That Pastor Carl Lentz is Missing His Spine
New York, NY – Hillsong Church Pastor Carl Lentz sought professional help in response to...
September 2017
September 19, 2017
Megachurch To Offer eBaptisms For Less-Important Satellite Campuses
Oklahoma City, OK – Non-denominational megachurch Life Explosion Ministries, has announced plans to make baptisms...
September 13, 2017
Southern Baptist Theological Seminary SWAT Team Seizes Steven Furtick’s Degree in Raid
LOUISVILLE, KY - The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary SWAT team seized and recovered one of...
August 2017
August 17, 2017
How to Disprove Any Christian in 10 Easy Steps
4.) If any Christian gives you push back about how you view a particular social...
August 08, 2017
Inspiring: Man to “Sacrifice All” With a Month-Long Facebook Break
Detroit, Michigan – A local man is receiving heavy acclaim from his community this week...
May 2017
May 26, 2017
LifeWay Debuts Paul Tripp Mustache to Equip Biblical Counselors
NASHVILLE, TN – LifeWay Christian Resources recently unveiled the mother-of-all biblical counseling resources to better...
May 10, 2017
Rewriting “Knowing God” (Fake Book Ideas)
Let's imagine Packer never wrote his classic.
April 2017
April 27, 2017
Bill Nye Spotted in Dumpster Looking For His Next Scientific Thesis
Los Angeles, CA - According to a local news source in Los Angeles, CA, several...
April 14, 2017
Study Finds There are More Christian Podcasts Than Actual Christians
I seem to recall a prophecy in the bible that says, 'His podcasts shall outnumber...
April 12, 2017
Brad’s Wife To Be Named New CEO of United Airlines
CHICAGO, IL - In less than 48 hours after a video went viral depicting a...
March 2017
March 27, 2017
David Platt Thrilled To Graduate High School
Richmond, Virginia – As Spring quickly approaches, so does the graduation season, and no...
March 22, 2017
Princeton Theological Seminary Appalled Kuyper Prize Named After Kuyper
Princeton Theological Seminary - Princeton, NJ After revoking the 2017 Kuyper Prize from Presbyterian church...
March 22, 2017
Barnabas Encouragement Ministry Mistakenly Calls Themselves “The Barabbas Group”
PORTLAND, OR – A new ministry at Life Lessons Baptist Church, aimed at encouraging...
March 13, 2017
Introvert Forced To Serve As Greeter While Under Church Discipline
According to multiple reports, Brendan Kirby, a well-known introvert, was forced to serve as a...
February 2017
February 28, 2017
Bryan Adams Surprised To Learn of His Lifetime Achievement Dove Award
NASHVILLE, TN - Earlier this week, The Dove Awards committee announced that they will be...
February 23, 2017
BREAKING: Calvinist Makes It Full 19 Hours Without Starting A Debate
Jon snapped the 19 hour debate drought after running into an acquaintance in public restroom....
February 15, 2017
Even with Swole Arms, Steven Furtick Still Unable to Lift Truth from Bible
Elevation Church, North Carolina - In his rather candid and enigmatic style, Steven Furtick plainly...
February 09, 2017
Man Finally Finds Perfect Use For His Copy of “The Shack”
JACKSON, MI – A local man is thrilled that he has finally found use for...
February 01, 2017
After Canceling on Christmas, Megachurch to Demonstrate Faithfulness by Streaming Super Bowl During Worship
"We are a church dedicated to corporate worship and to prove it, we're combining the...
January 2017
January 13, 2017
Local Man Creates Fake Identity To Avoid Serving In Church Nursery
MEDDLE, FL – The First Baptist Church of Meddle is in shock after it was...
December 2016
December 19, 2016
PCUSA Home Group Ruined After Gender-Specific Telling of The Christmas Story
MONTPELIER, VERMONT - A local PCUSA church home group, on the south-side of Montpelier, is...
November 2016
November 09, 2016
David Crowder Mistaken For Bigfoot Again
VIVIAN, LA – Youth Pastor of Bible Believer's Church in Vivian, Louisiana, Christopher Oden, is...
November 07, 2016
Hillary Clinton To Watch 2016 Election Results From Mordor
WASHINGTON D.C. – After much speculation and anticipation, the Clinton camp has confirmed that she...
October 2016
October 31, 2016
Nominal Protestant Confuses Martin Luther with Martin Luther King Jr
CHICAGO, IL - Local, nominal Protestant, Charles Hoffstentter is reported to have confused famed Protestant...
October 14, 2016
3 Good Reasons Evangelicals Should Vote For Donald Trump
3 Good Reasons Evangelicals Should Vote For Donald Trump
October 04, 2016
Confused John Piper Thinks Naughty By Nature Concert is a Theological Conference; DJs Anyway
SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA - Concert-goers were surpised when theologian and author John Piper appeared on...
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